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Welcome to my life  So it's like 2:30 in the morning and I'm sitting here bored. Nothing to do. And I'm not even really too concerned about going to bed since I don't really sleep much anymore. I'll get there when I get there. Not really important right now. But anyhow. Things have been ok. It's been a tough couple of weeks. We lost in the second round of states to Cranbrook. It was really hard knowing that was the last time I would ever play for LHS. It was hard to know that the four years of my life that I dedicated to hockey were over. It was hard to know that those 18 girls would never sit in the lockerroom with me again and we'd never have another dance party or one of our fabulous talks. It was hard to know that I wouldn't see them everyday and we wouldn't be together. I'm not going to lie. I've cried alot about it. But I guess it's not just because it's over, but because I felt like that was a remaining tie I had to Aunt Maria, and now it's gone. I feel as if she's not going to be there with me now because even though she wasn't physically there, I could feel her with me for the rest of the season and I knew she was watching over me. But now...I'm just not so sure. I know I should just believe she'll always be here. But sometimes I wonder if she really will. So I've had a hard time letting go. But I know eventually it'll be ok. Tuesday is the banquet. It's going to be a hard night. I really don't know how it will go. I just know that tears will be involved. At least on my part. Been searching for a prom dress for weeks now. I can't find one that I like and that fits perfect. It's upsetting but hopefully I'll come up with one soon. Although maybe I won't really need one. I still officially don't have a date...but hey what can you do? ;-) Prom is coming up fast. Only a little more than a month away. And let me tell you I'm soooo excited. It's going to be a great night. School's been school. Stupid...But I'm keeping the grades up and trying to at least pretend I really care. Even though I could care less. I've gotta keep my grades up enough though to stay on NHS. If I loose that I'll be devestated. Not to mention my parents will be pissed. But that's a whole other story. So tonight the parentals go out to celebrate a friends birthday. So around ten my sister opens up the door to the bathroom and water come flooding out and down the stairs. The pipe burst and so the house was then flooding. There was so much water. Together Haley, Erika, and myself got everything under control. I managed to get the water in the entire house turned off. But there was still water coming out of that pipe. But I got that turned off too after some trouble. We cleaned up the mess and were very responsible when it came to handling the situation. I was very proud of us all. Of course I called my parents and they didn't answer their cell phones. Then I left a voicemail and they didn't check it. So they come home and are all like hey what's up and shit...I was like no you're not off the hook. Did you check your voicemail? And they were like no why? And I was like CUZ THE DARN HOUSE ALMOST FLOODED!!! So now I ask, why is it that parents don't have to be responsible? If they had called me like that and I didn't answer or check my voicemail, I'd be locked up for a few weeks. However, they can do that and it's ok... I just don't get it. Oh well. Anyhow, slowly I'm getting by trying to make it through each day. Things seem to basically be good. So now that it's quarter to three, I might just try and fall asleep. But I really don't think that's going to happen. It's going to be a long night. Peace out. Good Night. God Bless, Love, Jordo Current mood:  calm.
So I promised I'd update...so here goes nothing... The past couple of months have been interesting to say the least. I've been basically playing hockey and going to school. It's been alot of work, but I gotta say, as much as the team frustrates me they keep me going at the same time. Without hockey I'd be so lost, but I'd also be less frustrated. But everything was going ok till a couple weeks ago when I completely lost it after our game against port huron. J-mac got hurt and that really made me upset, which just opened the flood gates for everything. I lost it on the bus on the way home, but no one really knew. Things just have been getting to me more lately. But I think I'm on the upswing of all this stuff. Somedays everything just hits me and I realize again that Aunt Maria is gone. It doesn't help that we have her kitchen table in our dining room, and I have some of her stuff in my room. It just reminds me. Things will get easier I know they will. It's just a matter of time. So last night we finished the regular season and I got to start the game, so that was cool. I really enjoyed myself, until I got hit really hard twice in one shift. Now I've got a major headache, but my mom says it's just from getting hit, so yeah it's great. We won 10-0 and finished the season 13-4-1 in the league and 15-6-2 overall. Now the playoffs start on saturday. I'm pretty excited because I should actually get to play. It's so amazing to me that this is it. I've been playing for four years and I never thought this day would come. The end of my hockey career. It's been a great ride, and I really wouldn't trade it for the anything. So prom is only about two months away and i'm really excited. Brian's going with me so it's gonna be fun. I just have to find a dress now and figure out what to do with my hair. I can't wait though it's gonna be sooo much fun. Prom is gonna be really nice. Now I just have to figure out what we're doing after. Maybe J & J's...don't know we'll see. anyhow, I'm taking tuesday off from school and hockey so that I don't snap because I just want a day off so my mom and haley and I are probably going to the mall to look for dresses and it will be fun. I'm excited. That's about all I can think to write about, other than the fact that I'm really jealous of winkamo because she's going to florida today, and i'm also excited cuz brian is coming home next weekend and he might get to come to my game and see me play. Current mood: calm.Current music: Shania Twain "that don't impress me much". 50 THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT ME 1. what is your middle name? Anna 2. what size is your bed? double 3. what are you listening to right now? savage Garden, Two beds and a coffee machine 4. what are the last 2 digits in your phone number? cell- 70 home-49 5. what was the last thing you ate? Cream puffs 6. Last person you hugged? mom 7. how is the weather right now? cold, dark 8. who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Michele 9. the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes, smile, 10. do u have a b/f G/F? working on it… 11. do you want children? yep 12. favorite store: Target (only cool people hang out there on Friday nights) 13. Did you ever get so drunk you didn't remember the entire night? nope 14. Hair color? dark brown 15. eye color? Hazel 16. height? 5’6” 17. favorite holiday? Christmas (not cuz of the presents, just the spirit, the presents are just an added bonus)/ Thanksgiving…food and football, it doesn’t get much better 18. favorite season? spring 19. ever cried for no reason? yep…although normally there is a reason it just isn’t obvious what it is 20. last movie you watched? Oooh geez, star wars I think…or maybe Cheaper by the Dozen 2 21. how many mirrors are in your room? One…and it’s small 23. have you ever decapitated a barbie doll? Ken, he was driving under a bridge in his limo and the bridge was too low and snap…his head rolled across the room 24. do you enjoy the sensational taste of starbucks? I LOVE COFFEE 25. does the word "horcrux" mean anything to you? nope 26. do you have any friends of the gay preference? Not that I know of… 27. do you think jesus is great? not today…not after 7 hours of retreat and kr…grrrr 28. is cheese like the best food ever, or what? Ummm I like peanut butter and chocolate (together or separate) better 29. what books are you reading? None right now haven’t found a good one 30. piercings? ears 31. Top 5 favorite movies? In no order: Remember the titans Rudy A walk to remember Armageddon D2 32. favorite college football team? Grand Valley baby! 33. what were you doing before filling this out? Homework and talking on the phone 34. any pets? not anymore 35. dogs or cats? dogs 36. favorite flower? Yellow/red roses or carnations 37. have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? yep…I always get caught 38. have you ever loved someone? yes 39. who would you like to see right now? brian, steph, winkamo, lauren 40. are you still friends with your exs? sort of 41. have you ever fired a gun? yep 42. do you like to travel by plane? Heck yes! 43. right or left-handed? left 44. if you could be with someone right now who would it be? Whoever could calm me down… 45. how many pillows do you sleep with? A lot…5, 6, something like that 46. are you missing someone? Yeah :-( 47. Do you have a tattoo? Not yet 48. do you still watch cartoons on Saturday morning? Not really 49. are you hiding something from someone? yep 50. Do you play an instrument? yes Have you ever: () gone skinny dipping in the ocean () smoked a cigarette () smoked pot () made out with a member of the same sex () crashed a friend's car (x) been in love () been dumped () shoplifted () been fired (x) been in a fist fight () snuck out of parent's house (x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back () been arrested (x) made out with a stranger (x) gone on a blind date (x) lied to a friend () had a crush on a teacher (x) skipped school () slept with a co-worker (x) seen someone dead (x) been to Canada () been to Mexico (x) been on a plane () thrown up in a bar () eaten Sushi ( ) been snowboarding () been moshing at a concert () been in an abusive relationship (x) taken painkillers (x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (x) made a snow angel (x) had a tea party (x) flown a kite (x) built a sand castle (x) gone puddle jumping (x) played dress up (x) jumped into a pile of leaves (x) gone sledding (x) cheated while playing a game (x) been lonely () fallen asleep at work () used a fake ID (x) watched the sun set () felt an earthquake (x) touched a snake (x) been tickled (x) been robbed –I had a screw driver stolen from me does that count? () robbed someone (x) been misunderstood (x) pet a reindeer/goat (x) won a contest () been suspended from school (x) had detention (x) been in a car accident —too many (x) have/had braces (x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night (x) had deja vu (x) danced in the moonlight (x) hated the way you looked () witnessed a crime () pole danced (x) questioned your heart (x) been obsessed with post-it notes (x) squished barefoot through the mud (x) been lost (x) been to the opposite side of the country –north to south is opposite right? (x) swam in the ocean (x) felt like dying (x) cried yourself to sleep—too many times (x) played cops and robbers (x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/marker ---yeah…only cool people color! (x) sung karaoke (x) paid for a meal with only coins —left the entire tip in coins too! (x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't (x) made prank phone calls () laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (x) caught a snowflake on your tongue () kissed in the rain (x) written a letter to Santa Claus () been kissed under a mistletoe (x) watched the sun set with someone you care about (x) blown bubbles (x) made a bonfire on the beach () crashed a party (x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people (x) gone rollerskating/blading (x) had a wish come true () humped a monkey () worn pearls () jumped off a bridge () screamed "penis" in class (/) ate cat food ---dog food…yes…cat food, maybe… () told a complete stranger you loved them (x) sang in the shower (x) have a little black dress () had sex in a park () had sex in the bathroom (x) had a dream that you married someone (x) glued your hand to something () got your tounge stuck to a pole (x) kissed a fish –my goldfish…I think his name was frog (x) worn the opposite sexes clothes --just t shirts () been a cheerleader --eeewwwww (x) sat on a roof top () had sex in a church (x) screamed at the top of your lungs—today in fact () done a one-handed cartwheel () talked on the phone for 6 hours or more (x) stayed up all night (x) didnt take a shower for a week --had too (x) pick and ate a fruit right off the tree (x) climbed a tree () had a tree house () are scared to watch scary movies alone (x) believe in ghosts () have more then 30 pairs of shoes () gone streaking (x) played ding-dong-ditch (x) played chicken fight-like on the shoulders, not in cars —both (x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on () been told you're hot by a complete stranger (x) broken a bone –nose and toes…I’m cool like that (x) been easily amused -that’s the story of my life! (x) caught a fish then ate it () made porn (x) caught a butterfly (x) laughed so hard you cried (x) cried so hard you laughed () flashed/mooned someone (x) had someone moon/flash you (x) cheated on a test —everyone has (x) forgotten someone's name (x) been kicked out of your house –temporarily, not long term I promised I'd update...so... UPDATE!!! :-D no really I will update, just not today...maybe tomorrow Hockey's secret code has been broken!! At last, hockey's secret code has been cracked. Everyone knows hockey coaches speak in code. Finally, after years of exhaustive study, that code has been broken. Usually, the coach speaks in code when he's trying to sugar-coat his assessment of a player or his team. We now know the difference between "what a coach says" and "what a coach really means." Here's a list of the most common"code" phrases used by coaches: Code: He's a role player. Translation: We think he can play a role, we just haven't figure out what that role is yet. Code: He's a "character" guy. Translation: He makes us laugh, tells jokes and does impressions. Code: He's good in the room. Translation: We should leave him in the room because he's useless on the ice. Code: He brings intangibles. Translation: We're not sure what he brings to the team. Code: He's a competitor. Translation: He competes every night, he just doesn't win very often. Code: He's gritty. Translation: He needs a bath. Code: He's hard-nosed. Translation: He's dumb enough to lead with his face. Code: He gives us physical presence. Translation: He takes up space. Code: He's a technically sound goalie. Translation: His reflexes are lousy. Code: He's a reflex goalie. Translation: He hasn't got a clue on how to play the angles. Code: He's a power-play specialist. Translation: I like having an extra man out there to cover his screw-ups. Code: He's a stay-at-home defenceman. Translation: He can't skate and carry the puck at the same time. Code: He's an offensive defenceman. Translation: He can't play defence. Code: He adds toughness. Translation: He's here for two shifts a night and start fights on both of them. Code: He's an all-round player. Translation: He doesn't do anything particularly well. Code: He's feisty. Translation: He chirps at the opposition and takes dumb penalties at crucial times. (haha Sean Avery) Code: He's got experience. Translation: He's lost with better teams. Code: He has tremendous upside. Translation: He can't get any worse. Code: He's a "project". Translation: This guy was abandoned in the jungle as a small boy and taught to play hockey by the family of gorillas who adopted him. And I'm supposed to coach this? Code: He's a grinder. Translation: It's 50-50 he'll miss an empty net from three feet. Code: He's got good work ethic. Translation: He works hard but accomplishes little. Code: He's a playmaker. Translation: He had better pass, because he shoots like my grandmother. Code: We've got good chemistry. Translation: We may be lousy, but we all get along. Code: We're rebuilding. Translation: We suck this year and we probably will the year after that too. Code: We're shaking up the lines to add offense. Translation: I'm pulling names out of a hat and hoping it works. Code: We're letting him see the game from above so he can learn. Translation: He peed me off so much the last game, I want him as far away from me as possible. Code: We only had a few bright spots tonight. Translation: I just watched my career as a coach go right down the drain. Code: Things are turning around for us now. Translation: We don't suck as much as before, and I can keep my dinner down watching these losers. Code: He's our star. Translation: He can actually play hockey. Code: We played undisciplined hockey. Translation: The ref sucked. Code: We were not as good as we should be Translation: How can these high school dropouts get paid millions for that cr@p they spewed on the ice tonight? Code: We need to work harder. Translation: No all night benders the night before. Code: I am in the best shape of my career. Translation: I have a no trade clause in my contract. I thought I was gonna be ok handling this, but as the days go by I wonder if I really am. The feelings inside of me intensify more and more each day. I just can't believe she's gone. As for now I'm going to try and keep my head up...but actually doing it, that's a different story. Current mood:  depressed.
Well she's gone...she left us at about 2:15 this afternoon, Christmas Day. I can't believe it and somehow, I don't think it has sunk in. The funeral and junk will be either tuesday wednesday or wednesday thursday, but I don't know yet. I guess it's better now that she's not in pain. But yet somehow, I'm still gonna be selfish...I just don't understand, she was so good just a few days ago and then bam she's sooo bad all of a sudden. I just can't understand how she went that fast. Her final days were spent worrying about us. I know she was scared, but she would have never admitted it. It was so hard for her to breathe and so hard for her to talk, yet she kept saying "I love you. I love you" It hurt so bad. The pain inside of me has sort of been frozen. I'm numb. I pray that she's ok now. I pray it's all going to be ok. Yet I doubt it will be. It was hard enough 4 years ago and everything was getting back to normal...but now the pain has returned. Sometimes I absolutely hate everything. Rest in peace Aunt Maria. I will always love you and you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I love you! Rest in peace. Current mood: sad.Current music: "Holes in the floor of Heaven". So it only gets worse...Aunt Maria was readmitted to the hospital last night because she couldn't breathe. Well turns out the blood clot has moved to her lungs and there's nothing we can do. It's only a matter of time now. I just pray that the matter of time is long enough to get through the weekend. If she doesn't make it through the weekend I don't know what I'll do. I wish I could just make this all go away. I hate not being in control. It drives me insane not being in control. It's been a rough week. I have barely slept since school got out and even the last week of school. I just can't lose her now. Not right before christmas. Or even worse on christmas. I wanted so bad to bring her home for christmas and she was so looking foward to christmas eve and the food and all was well until yesterday. Now that is pretty much just a dream. I mean if she's in the hospital now I don't think they can let her out. Which means christmas is gonna suck. It was just two months ago that we found out that she had Breast Cancer. Right around thanksgiving we found out that it had spread to her lungs and about a week later her brain. We also found out she had a blood clot near her heart that couldn't be treated because of the cancer. She was admitted to the hospital that week after thanksgiving then about a week ago she was sent to a rehab center in West Bloomfield. And now she's back at Henry Ford Hospital downtown. And the blood clot has spread to her lungs and now it is only a matter of time. I believe her last rights were administered today. My mom spent all night down there last night and my dad stayed there till 3am and went back at about 6am. And both of my parents have just returned home in the last hour, but are headed back. It's been a rough two months and I don't know if I can handle much more. I don't know what I'll do if we lose her this weekend. We need a miracle. Hopefully that's what we'll get for christmas. All I really want for christmas is for my aunt to get better or at least make it to 2006. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm going to be selfish for once. During this holiday weekend, if you could just pause to say a prayer, it would be appreciated. Peace Out God Bless, Love, Jordo Current mood: exhausted.Current music: "Christmas Lullaby (I will lead you home)" By: Amy Grant. Nothing new..just thought I'd post this because it's cute and most of it is sooo true... You're a catholic/private school girl when.. 1.You mastered the art of cheating and cramming. 2. one word: Retreat 3. At one time, you liked your uniform 4. You got kicks outta being able to wear you PJs to school 5. You have a way of making yourself look so innocent when everyone knows that you really aren't. 6. It cost you 200 bucks to park in the school parking lot 7. Everyone kisses each other to greet people 8. You're blonde, once were, wish you were, or just act like it. 9. You violated as many dress codes as possible and when you get caught, you pretended that you 'didnt know' 10. You have countless obsessions with guys you have never even met or never talked to 11. At least one of your friends thought that she was pregnant by junior year 12. You have NO problem joking around about being a lesbian 13. You spent many a religion class listening to your teacher preach about the Church's take on premarital sex, abortion, and the death penalty 14. You SERIOUSLY don't know how to shut up 15. "Remember whens" are your specialty 16. At least one of your friends names are Sarah, Katie, Megan, Ashley or Lauren 17. guys ask you if you still have your uniform and if you would wear it for them 18. your skirts stopped fitting, but were too cheap/lazy to buy new ones, so you just pinned them. 19. you know your friends havent shaved it they wear pants for more than 3 or 4 days 20. when there is a new guy on campus, everyone knows their name, where they came from, what car they drive, and if their hot or not within 10 min 21. The Guys Just get passed around!...and u've hookd up with AT LEAST ONE of the guys ur friend has 22. EveryONE knows about everyone elses business!..even if u've never talked to them!!! 23. you went to at least one "_____ palooza" "_____ fest" or "beach bash" 24. your parents are more involved than you in school |
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